"stuff you don't need... but you really really want"

Spoon Seat Saver

£3.99

When you can't stand the thought of someone sitting next to you on the bus, tube or plane, or you can't get to the bar in the pub for fear of losing your seat, then this is your ticket to peace and comfort.

A daft tea-spoon with remarkably realistic melted ice-cream on it, plop it on any chair, and you'll know from then on you have domain over the seat of your choice.

It's also a scream at home and round the office for upsetting the unhealthily house-proud, and those with annoyingly tidy desks.

Bog Monster

£12.95

Yup, OK, we've succumbed to the lowest form of wit. The Bogmonster is about as tacky as it gets.

It's stupid and it's puerile, but the reaction it gets from even the stuffiest person you can think of, is awesome. If it doesn't make your friends shriek and howl with laughter, then they need to take life a little less seriously.

Ninja Hamster

£12.99

Of all the idiotic singing things in all the world, this is perhaps the most daft – and the competition’s pretty steep. Why a hamster? Why a Ninja Hamster? Who cares, it’s so supremely stupid and irresistibly funny that the whys and wherefores cease to matter.

At a squeeze of its paw it launches enthusiastically into a remarkably good rendition of “Kung Fu Fighting” (sadly, emulating the quality here is not possible without the music file being enormous!) and twirls its weapon.

It doesn’t do anything else much, but somehow it just cracks people up, and you’ll play with it constantly – or until someone else comes along and throws it out of the window.

Features:

- utterly ridiculous
- irresistibly funny
- swinging weapons
- sings Kung Fu Fighting
- dances really rather badly
- batteries included
- 15 x 10cm

N.B. To my ears, it sings like Cartman.

Lips Recorder

£8.45

Leaving a sexy message for someone on your fridge is all part of the rich tapestry of life. Leaving it on an old bit of paper is OK, but leaving it recorded into a pair of soft rubberised lips just has to be better.

This enigmatic magnetic set of smackers (and try saying that after you've had a few) will take a ten second message - clinging manfully to your fridge door with no less than three magnets - and hold it faithfully until someone presses the bottom lip, whereby it will gush forth all that you gushed forth. So be careful what you gush.

'Hard Boiled' Egg Cups

£10.99

Egg cups - traditionally about as interesting as Tupperware - have hit the catwalk. This pair of egg-shaped china egg cups wrench you from the tedium of the normal, wrestle you away from the mundane, and launch you, giddy and childlike into the swirling maelstrom of ova nirvana.

Well maybe that's a tad excessive, you know, for an egg cup. But they're fun, they're different and even have a little Kirk-Douglas-esque dimple for your salt!

Features:

- look like eggs
- hold eggs
- slightly bigger than eggs
- they're egg cups, so the above is a pre-requisite really, rather than a feature.
- Spartacus, that was a feature.
- not really related to egg cups though, is it, as far as we're aware? Except maybe the Douglasesque salt dimple in each cup, though that's about as tenuous as this is long-winded, so not really worth a mention

FlyCatcher

£19.95

What an awesomely stupid and marvellously ridiculous thing!

The Flycatcher, cunningly disguised as a remarkably unrealistic Venus Flytrap, has a fly attractor in it. Not only that, but there's also a movement sensor that makes the head snap shut on any fly foolish enough to think, "Well hey, this is only a plastic plant", which is the last thought it'll ever have. It's pretty hard to catch a fly, but this great gizmo will catch about 90% of flies dumb enough to take it on. And the coup de grace is that after it's flattened the fly, it opens up again with a resounding and satisfyingly loud burp!

The Flycatcher comes with a sachet of fly bait and a little brush for you to clean its teeth with after it's eaten. Seldom has anyone invented such a fabulously daft gadget that actually serves a useful purpose!.

Hot Bear

£14.95

OK, it's not a cutting edge gadget, but this bear is simply irresistible.

Just thirty centimetres high, he has a heatable wheat sack in his belly, so you can heat up the bag in the microwave and take a warm teddy to bed, which is great when the alternative is a cold shoulder.

He's very well made and originally designed for kids, but who said we ever grow up? All the girls in the office have fallen in love with him (and some of the guys too, but they'd never admit it).

Features:

- 30 cm high
- Removable wheat sack
- Heat wheat sack in microwave*
- Keeps warm for about 1 hour
- Unbearably cute

Climbing Light

£21.95

At first, it may seem that one of your coat-hangers has nicked a light bulb and is making a break for it, but oh no, that's not what's happened at all.

This is a beautiful piece of lighting design from Black & Blum, who win all sorts of design awards - which is nice. The Climbing Light is a simple and striking wall lamp which will grab hold of any screw and, with its chrome-topped bulb, create an effective and funky downlight.

Remedy Cufflinks

£48.50

Simon Carter of London have come up with a classic set of cufflinks to help you cope with heavy nights out. So when you stagger into work in the same old shirt after a steaming night on the tiles, relief is at hand, or rather at cuff.

This cool set of cufflinks doubles as a dispenser of your chosen antidote, and a subtle reminder for those around you to keep their voices down.

Chic and practical, like a supermodel with D.I.Y experience, except they're not a fantasy and they're a lot cheaper to maintain.

Rome II MP3 Player

£199.95

This has to be the neatest, coolest and sexiest MP3 player around. It's the size of tape cassette, and apart from the all the usual functions, it fits into your tape deck - home, car, walkman, boat, plane, cyber suit - and actually PLAYS like a standard cassette!

Is that clever or what?

It has 32MB or 64 MB of on-board memory, a dinky little rechargeable NiCad battery, a remote control unit, headphones and in-car charger. You also get all the cables you need, and the extensive features list below will satisfy the techiest of you out there.

Cables and expansion slots aside, as far as we're concerned this is the D's Bs on looks alone!

Tumbler Flip Light

£49.95

Oh Mathmos, ye Gods!

A light brick that turns itself on and off when tumbled, the Flip light brick glows with 9 different colours that change every time you flip it over, which should be enough to satisfy anyone with the wildest moon swings!

Made of glass, they come complete with a charger (good for 750-1000 charges) and will glow about 3-5 hrs after a charge. They're splash-proof, so can be used inside and out (fab in the bathroom), and are just generally the most marvellous things ever.

If you're feeling really flush you can build the most stunning light wall!

Lung Ashtray

£6.95

Here's the perfect solution for cutting out the middle man and getting cigarettes directly into your lungs, without having to go through the tedious exercise of smoking.

The lung ashtray is the perfect present for someone who keeps coming up with excuses like "I'm going to give up just as soon a President Bush drafts a coherent foreign policy".

There may well be a hundred reasons to kick the weed, but while you mull them over you might as well use an ashtray that shows how you laugh in the face of public opinion.

Chill Room

Small – 120cm diameter - £179.95

Large – 180cm diameter - £389

The new-improved and sturdier chill-out room of the 21st century is back! These are just so cool - whether you're four, fourteen or forty, they're irresistibly good fun.

They're made from individual cushions, and have just been redesigned with an even tougher material, so if in a moment of excitement you inadvertently puncture one, the room still stays inflated. (The clear cushions also let in tons of light.)

They're like hamster wheels for humans, only much, much better.

Post Box Replica

£795 (!)

This full-sized replica of a classic George V Pillar box is so accurate to the original that it has appeared in countless TV programmes and films.

Made of fibreglass, it is easily transportable and comes with laminate collection times and a lockable postal door. Tired of going down to the post box? Now you can bring it into your home or office.

Of course you may experience a drastic drop off in postal collections of around 100%, but at least you can always say with confidence, "The cheque's in the post".

Fibreglass Telephone Box

£1,700 (no typo)

Designed by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott to commemorate the Silver Jubilee of King George V in 1935.

This faithful replica of the original K6 is made of fibreglass and so weighs in at a comparatively featherweight 90 Kilos. It comes with a telephone installed and replica notices from the 1950s and 60s. Great for the office, or for home if you've got room!

Indeed, it is even suitable for the bathroom, as the replica K6 can be supplied with built-in shower base, complete with plug-hole and, all right, a plug too.

Original K6 Telephone Box

£4,995 (!)

Designed by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott to commemorate the Silver Jubilee of King George V in 1935. Marginally heavier than your average domestic telephone at 750 kilos, this is a classic piece of British history. Not suitable for first floor flats, unless you want to move to the basement, very fast. If you want something a little lighter in your lounge, have a look at the fibreglass replica.

Those few that are still in use in the U.K. are now "Listed Grade II Buildings". Manufactured in cast iron with a teak door, this telephone box is fully restored to "Listed Specification" from the bare metal upwards.

The phone box comes with the original 1936 Jubilee interior as a £1700 option, an original Bakelite telephone, a coin dispenser and the classic ebonised wallboard with re-prints of the original Emergency Instruction notice and Advert notices. These telephone boxes are restored to order and can be delivered anywhere in the world - delivery/installation prices on application.

They're not cheap, but hey, they're former "Grade II Listed Buildings"!

Worried? Confused? Can't be bothered to type? Call us now.

Last revised: 09/12/01