Showbiz Circle
The entertainment
industry is very very weird.
It is also riddled
with coincidences and peculiarities.
Here are a few of the
M-Z ones:
“It's funny how the colours of the real
world only seem really real
when you viddy them on the screen.”
– Alex,
A Clockwork Orange
One of the (“when shall we three meet again?”) witches in ‘Macbeth’
(1948) is played by Brainerd Duffield. Technically a warlock. As he is a man.
What was to be called ‘The Madness of
King George III’ became ‘The Madness of King 
George’ (1994), so as not to alienate or
confuse the American audiences into thinking it was the third film in a
trilogy.
Malcolm, of the TV series ‘Malcolm In The
Middle’, is in the Krelboyne class for gifted students at school. Seymour
Krelboyne was the name of the nerdy hero in ‘The Little Shop Of Horrors’
(1960). (In the 1986 Rick Moranis remake it became Krelborn. So we’ll ignore
that…)
‘Mallrats’ (1995), were it a town, would
be twinned with ‘Dazed And Confused’ (1993). The two films share producers (Jim
and Sean Daniels), actors (Joey Adams and Ben Affleck), the casting director
(Don Phillips), and distributor (Gramercy). And twin brothers; Jeremy (T.S.) London was in
‘Mallrats’, Jason (Pink) London in 'Dazed…'.
Oh, and it’s NOT a sailboat in the Magic
Eye picture. It’s a series of geometric shapes. (Which wouldn’t have been as
funny…)
At the time of filming for ‘The Mambo
Kings’ (1992), Antonio Banderas couldn't speak English and his co-star Armand
Assante couldn't speak Spanish; both of them learned and performed their 
foreign lines phonetically.
Notable as being exceptionally peculiar,
and David Bowie’s modelling fantastic hair, ‘The Man Who Fell to Earth’ (1976)
is also remembered as containing a power-boat jump which broke the world record
for distance. (The previous record had been set during the making of ‘Live and
Let Die’ (1973). Well, it’s not all work work work...)
That Jack Nicholson’s tie disappears
during his speech in ‘Mars Attacks’ (1996) is intentional – Burton intended it
as a sneaky laugh at the way the actor’s tie disappears in the final courtroom
scenes of ‘A Few Good Men’ (1992).
Twatting about in ‘The Mask (1994), The
Mask tells Lt. Kellaway, 
played by Peter Riegert, that an image
found in the park is “a picture of your wife”. It’s a shot of Marion Wormer
from ‘Animal House’ (1978), who did indeed play opposite Riegert in the movie.
In ‘Matilda’ (1996), the portrait hanging
in the Trunchbull-acquired home of Miss Honey’s father Magnus, is of Roald
Dahl, the book’s author.
The M-16 fired in the
all-action-puppet-freakery ‘Meet The Feebles’ (1989) is firing live ammunition.
This is because the director, Peter Jackson, found it easier to get hold of
than blanks. (They were real swords in ‘The Lord Of The Rings’ too. And arrows.
It wasn’t a real – ‘classically trained at the RSC dahling’ – Balrog, though…)
At the end of ‘Men In Black’ (1997), K arrests
the alien flying the alien citing his violation of the ‘Tycho Treaty’; in
‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ (1968), Tycho was where the moon monolith was found.
The director of ‘Mr. Sardonicus’ (1961)
promoted his film by telling audiences he had filmed two different endings for
it, and had cinema-goers issued with fluorescent cards so as they could decide
on the anti-hero’s fate. They always voted to have him killed. (Which was both
just – in context – and lucky. As William Castle had only filmed that one
ending…)
In one scene in the CHILDREN’S FILM ‘Monsters Inc.’ (2001)
Randall Boggs threatens a co-worker with a woodchipper fate. Boggs is voiced by
Steve Buscemi, whose character was last seen in ‘Fargo’ (1996), murdered by his
partner and stuffed into just such a machine. Far nicer was ‘Dr Quinn, Medicine
Woman.’ Which didn’t star Steve Buscemi. But did feature lead characters called
Mike and Sully.
In ‘Moonraker’ (1979), the musical
sequence which opens the electronic lock on the door to Drax's Venice
laboratory is the hailing tune from ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind’
(1977).
‘Mosquito Coast’ (1986) features River
Phoenix as Harrison Ford’s son – in a role originally intended for Wil Wheaton
(Gordy to his Chris in ‘Stand By Me’) – the family resemblance was strong
enough, three years later, to have River play the young (scouting) Ford in
‘Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade’ (1989).
Richard Roxbergh’s character in ‘Moulin Rouge!’
(2001), the dastardly Duke, finances the ‘Children Of The Revolution’ show
written by Christian. In 1996, Richard Roxbergh was in a film entitled ‘Children Of The Revolution’.
The Hormel Foods Corporation, who give
the world its Spam (spam spam spam spam spam spam spam), sued the makers of
‘Muppet Treasure Island’ (1996) for naming the film’s ugly villain ‘Spa’am’. As
it maligned their luncheon meat; Hormel claimed that the high priest boar had
an ‘unhygienic and immoral image’ which could ‘damage the reputation of its
product’. Jim Henson Productions had argued – amongst other lines of defence –
that Hormel should “lighten up.” Their suit was defeated on September 22, 1995.
Yet, strangely, Hormel have never troubled Monty Python for their onscreen
canned-ham re-appropriation. (It seems that Valkyrie song boosted sales…)
The ever-thoughtful set-designers on the
musical ‘My Fair Lady’ (1964) had ladies restrooms custom-built for their
actresses, with doors and cubicles of such a width that they would be able to
comfortably enter without having to remove their extra-wide hats.
‘Buffy’ pairing Willow (Alyson Hannigan)
and Oz (Seth Green) also played boyfriend & girlfriend in the
boggling-horrendous Dan Akroyd film, ‘My Stepmother Is An Alien’ (1998). (N.B.
If you want to remember Seth Green as a man of infinite cool, watch ‘Austin
Powers 2’. Or even ‘Josie & The Pussycats’. Do NOT go near this. It will
warp you…)
Everyone has to have one – a favourite
Russell Crowe movie. Me? I’ve gone for one that also gets the prize of best
ice-hockey movie too. Yup, ‘Mystery Alaska’ (1999) is greater’n anything
featuring a Mighty Duck. It’s also deliberately funny. In the third period of
the Rangers game, a crowd-member can be seen holding up a large yellow sign
which reads “Hey Skank, I'm Pregnant!”
The bowling ball wielded by Janeane Garafalo in ‘Mystery Men’
(1999) was not custom made for the film. The manufacturer had made the skull ball
as part of their ‘Super Fun Ball’ line.
The blood spattering from the recently
deceased in ‘Night Of The Living Dead’ (1968) is actually chocolate syrup. As
it was in ‘Psycho’ (1960). And ‘Raging Bull’ (1980). (And hundreds of other
black and white films, no doubt. Ketchup just doesn’t have the right
consistency…)
As Hugh Grant rushes his missus to the
hospital in ‘Nine Months’ (1995), they pass a cinema showing ‘Home Alone VII’,
the seventh sequel to the 1990 cult-Culkin original. Which would be bitchy and
cruel, were Chris Columbus not the director of both movies.
‘1984’ (1984) was note only filmed in
1984, but in real time, according to the dates in Orwell’s book. Apparently. So
as when you see Winston (John Hurt) subversively writing in his diary on the 4th
of April, 1984, it actually was the 4th
of April, 1984.
Director Richard
Donner claims that many parents, having watched ‘The Omen’ (1976), went home
and shaved their children’s heads, looking for a ‘666’ birthmark. None,
however, had cause to complain about poor piscine treatment. In the scene where
the fishbowl falls to the floor, dead sardines were painted orange, and
substituted for living goldfish. The director was loath to make a fish snuff
movie, refusing to kill any creature for the sake of a shot.
‘One Hundred and One Dalmatians’ (1961)
features the dogs from ‘Lady And The Tramp’ (1955), in an alleyway in the
starlight barking scene.
Also. Someone (patient & exceedingly
driven) counted, frame-by-frame, all the black spots in the 1961 version of the
movie, and reached the total of 6,469,952. People amaze me.
The following movies are “EPICS”
available to rent, from the video-store in ‘Orgazmo’ (1997); ‘Birth Of Jesus’,
‘Jesus Of Nazareth’, ‘Jesus The Healer’, ‘Jesus Of Nazareth (again)’, ‘Jesus
Scissorhands’, ‘Pulp Jesus’, ‘The Good, The Bad, Jesus’, 
and ‘Raging Jesus’.
The 1998 remake of ‘The Parent Trap’
(1961) included a cameo appearance by Joanna Barnes. In the original, she had played the father’s conniving fiancée – in
the re-make, she played this character’s mother.
In ‘The People Vs. Larry Flynt’ (1996),
Woody Harrelson takes the title role and his brother Brett plays Larry’s
brother Jimmy.
In ‘Pet Sematary’ (1989), the role of
Rachael's dying sister, Zelda, was taken by a man. Andrew Hubatsek was just
skinny enough to play the part as required. Apparently, IN HOLLYWOOD, there was
a dearth of emaciated women available for acting roles.
‘The Pillow Book’ (1996) is just one of
many films in which Ewan McGregor is obliged – for reasons of artistic integrity
and plot development – to flash his bits at 
the camera. There’s also ‘What The Butler
Saw’ (1992), ‘Scarlet And Black’ (1993), ‘Trainspotting’ (1996), ‘Velvet
Goldmine’ (1998)… amongst others. “My cock has been
out in so many films now,” says the boy, “that I might as well have it written
into my contract: 'It is imperative that Ewan gets his knob out at some stage in
the proceedings.' I do get it out willy-nilly, as it were. But I don't have a
problem with getting my spuds out for the camera. If that's what it takes to
get people into the cinema, 
then that's all
the better.” Sadly (?), it was only mentioned in ‘Moulin Rouge!’ (2001) by
Satine, and not seen. (He’s quite unruffle-able about all this. “If you were to
drop your pants in the office or wherever you work, people would talk about it
till the end of time. So I understand where it comes from. But I’ve never done
it just to show my cock – it has always been part of the story. So I don’t
worry about it at all.”) The only other ‘serious actor’ (ie one not appearing in ‘Farm
Studs IV’) who’s similarly unabashed is Alan Bates; ‘Georgy Girl’
(1966), ‘King of Hearts’ (1966), ‘The Fixer’ (1968), wrestling Oliver Reed
naked by the fireside in ‘Women In Love’ (1969).
Joan Allen and Tobey Maguire play mother
and son in both ‘Pleasantville’ (1998) and ‘The Ice Storm’ (1997).
The names of aristocrats played by
Armstrong & Miller in ‘Plunkett & Macleane’ (1999) were garnered two
members of Arsenal’s 1980’s/90’s ‘back five’; Dixon and Winterburn. The film
also stars Noel Fielding. But his character is didactically named ‘Brothel
Gent’. Which would not refer to any member of Arsenal’s ‘back five’.
Since ‘Psycho’
(1960), Janet Leigh took baths wherever she could, and only showered where there was NO alterative, and she could secure all doors and
windows. She wasn’t the only one similarly paranoid. After ‘Psycho’ was released, Alfred Hitchcock received an angry
letter from a father whose daughter, having seen ‘Diabolique’ (1954), refused to
have baths, and was now extremely reluctant to shower. Hitchcock sent a note
back saying simply ‘Send her to the dry cleaners’.
In the
scene-by-scene-but-this-time-in-colour-so-it-must-be-good remake of ‘Psycho’
(1998), director Gus Van Sant could have come unstuck on the Hitchcock cameo
appearance. To emulate or not to emulate? Given the obsessively faithful cover
version standards Van Sant was sticking to – one door opens without a key in
the remake because it did so in the original – it’s unsurprising that he chose
to feature a cameo appearance of his own, talking with a Hitchcock lookalike.
(Perhaps more surprising is that the film features a kitchen knife credited as
belonging to John Woo.)
This was the second Alfred Hitchcock remake of 1998 to star Viggo
Mortenson. In ‘A Perfect Murder’ (1998) – a re-jigging of ‘Dial M For Murder’
(1954) with Gwyneth Paltrow (pshaw) instead of 
Grace Kelly – he is also the female
protagonist’s lover. And begins both films in bed. And is criminally involved
in $400,000 of dirty money.
Somewhat disturbingly worryingly, the
girlfriend/boyfriend couple Janie and Jamie in ‘Pump Up The Volume’ (1990) were
played by cousins, Lala Sloatman and Ahmet Zappa.
In 1982, Larry Cohen made a horror film
about a giant flying lizard plaguing New York. Called ‘Q’. The explanation of
the back of the video box reads: “Its name is Quetzalcoatl, a dragon-like Aztec
god that is summoned to modern day Manhattan by gory human sacrifices. But just
call it 'Q,' because that is all you'll have time to say before it tears you
apart.” Mmm-hmm? You called the film ‘Q’ – rather than ‘Quetzalcoatl’ – not for
reasons of box office sales (“Two for Get-ze-coat-on please”), but for plot?
Really? So why was it known as ‘The Winged Serpent’ outside of America? Were
they worried that, despite the very obvious death-by-flying-lizard theme to the
film – clearly depicted on posters and video art – a European audience would
think it an offshoot Bond movie?
Working on a piffling budget, the makers
of ‘Queen of the Jungle’ (1935) used stock footage from silent serial ‘Jungle
Goddess’ (1922) wherever they could. And also borrowed bits of the latter’s
storyline. The editing is not quite seamless. Actors used new dramatic
techniques and were made-up differently in the 1930’s. That the 1922 silent
footage had been printed and projected at an unusually fast sound speed did not
help either.
In the Well of Souls scene in ‘Raiders Of
The Lost Ark’ (1981), hieroglyphs on the walls include C3-PO and R2D2, while
the multitude of snakes includes several lengths of hose-pipe (to boost
serpentine numbers). The film also provides two death scenes for the British
wrestler Pat 'Bomber' Roach. As the imposing Sherpa in the Nepalese bar, his
first ‘exit’ is due to fire; the second occurs when his German mechanic
character is diced by the plane's propeller.
The scene in ‘Rain Man’ (1988) where Dustin Hoffman’s
character says he’ll only fly on Qantas because they’ve never lost a plane is
cut from the version of the film shown on every major 
airline… except Qantas.
Nicholas Cage’s character of H.I. in
‘Raising Arizona’ (1987) on occasion wears a Hudsucker Industries uniform –
this is the title of the company in (the clue’s in the title) ‘The Hudsucker
Proxy’ (1994). The Coen brothers, who were behind both films, evidently think
ahead.
Rodents were not intended to feature in
‘The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!’ (1972). The film was originally
titled ‘The
Curse of the Full Moon’, and gave its central characters only one set of evil
animals to deal with. Andy Milligan, the film’s writer and director was
persuaded by his producer (William Mishkin) that a running time of 72 minutes
was too short and that extra footage should be added. So they tacked on a
rat-infestation sub-plot. Because killer-rats were then all the rage –
‘Willard’ (1971) was raking it in at the box office, its sequel ‘Ben’ was
underway – Milligan decided to chuck in 20 minutes of man-eating rats. Those
sequences, unlike the lupine ones which were shot in England, were filmed in
Milligan’s hometown on Staten Island. Who must have been thrilled. As the rats
proved quite hard to get rid of, thereafter. Milligan ended up offering a free
live rat to cinema-goers. In promotion for a film about deadly killer flesh-eating
rats. (The Monty Python people, who gave away a free coconut to American
viewers of the ‘Holy Grail’ (1975), had a much sounder grasp of the way to
tickle the public’s fancy.)
The knife fight in ‘Rebel Without A
Cause’ (1955) used real switchblades – for protection, Jim (James Dean) and
Buzz (Corey Allen), wore chain-mail (!) under their vests.
When Disney recalled all home video
copies of ‘The Rescuers’ (1977) in
1999, their reasoning was there for all freeze-frame manipulators to see. There
actually was a topless woman clearly visible within the film. Albeit in only
two (non-consecutive) frames. Around 38 minutes in to the high-octane mouse
adventure, Bianca & Bernard fly past a building on an albatross – in one of
the building’s windows in the offending image. Disney believe it was added
during the post-production process, but that the lady had been there even in
the theatrical release.
Tim Roth insisted that his dialect coach
play the lady shot by Mr. Orange in ‘Reservoir Dogs’ (1992). In revenge for her
being so hard on him. (N.B. Blanks and blood bags were used.)
One of the Ewok songs in ‘Return of the
Jedi’ (1983) sounds like ‘Det luktar flingor har’, Swedish for ‘It smells of
cereal here’. (N.B. I’ve been to the Giant Redwood Forests which doubled for
Endor. And it doesn’t. But then I don’t have the olfactory system of an Ewok.)
Kevin Costner had apparently wanted to
use a proper British accent for his title role in ‘Robin Hood: Prince of
Thieves’ (1991) but had been dissuaded from it by the director, Kevin Reynolds,
on the grounds that he sounded like a twat.
The crew for ‘The Rocky Horror Picture
Show’ (1975) had an Easter Egg hunt on-set on one day of filming, but they
weren’t all found… three can be seen in the film: there’s one lurking under
Frank's throne, one instead of a light in the main room, and one as the
shivering group goes up in the elevator to the lab.
Also; while Susan Sarandon, Tim Curry and Meatloaf may be the only
cast members you non-‘Crystal Maze’ fans have kept up with, Barry Bostwick (aka
Brad Majors) is currently to be found as the Mayor in ‘Spin City’.
Joss Whedon – creator of ‘Buffy’ and the
spin-off series ‘Angel’ – cut his teeth in the industry writing episodes for
‘Roseanne’. Which also featured Glenn Quinn, as Becky’s Mark. Later to pop up
as Doyle. (This actor is ACTUALLY Irish. Honest. Really.)
In ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ (1968), Mia Farrow
exclaims to Angela Dorian: “I thought you were Victoria Vetri, the actress.”
Terry’s response is: “Everyone says that, but I don't see the resemblance.”
Victoria Vetri is Angela Dorian's real name.
Both ‘Runaway Bride’ (1999) and ‘The
Blues Brothers’ (1980) feature a beauty parlour with the 
snappy moniker of Curl Up And Dye. Only
the former film, however, feature three professionally shot wedding videos,
which make use of perfectly positioned multiple cameras and tracking shots. The
picture isn’t wobbly, or poorly lit, or interrupted by someone coughing. Indeed,
on the second wedding, as Julia Roberts high-tails it from the church, one of
the wedding video-makers had the foresight to get a behind shot of her running
down the aisle, as well as shot-from-her-behind footage of a dragged-along
page-boy clinging to her dress. Excellent work for a small-town operation…
The ZIP code for the Massachusetts home
of Sabrina The Teenage Witch is 01970; this is the ZIP code for the Witch-trials town of Salem,
Massachusetts.
In ‘Say Anything’ (1989), John Cusack’s
character drives past a cinema that’s showing ‘Tapeheads’ (1988), a movie
starring one John Cusack.
Filming ‘Schindler’s List’ (1993),
director Steven Spielberg had hoped to be able to film inside Auschwitz. On
being refused permission, a mirror image concentration camp set was built on
the other side of the gates.
‘Sesame Street’ was banned by the Mississippi
State Commission for Educational TV
– a decision reversed in 1970 – because they disapproved of the multi-racial
neighbourhood which acted as the show’s focus.
In the film
‘Sesame Street Presents Follow That Bird’ (1985) – in which, if memory serves,
Big Bird is dyed a fetching shade of blue (AND DOES NOT GO GREEN) – we get to
see two of his muppet cohorts car-numberplates; the Count's reads “1234567890”, while
Oscar's is a simple “SCRAM”.
‘The Shawshank
Redemption’ (1994) features Gil Bellows as Thomas (Tommy) Williams, Andy’s
protégée. In the ever-more meandering TV series ‘Ally McBeal’, the actor plays
the part of William (Billy) Thomas.
‘The Sharktank
Redemption’ (2000) – a film which presumably HAD to be made once someone had
drunkenly thought-up the title – takes the premise of King’s prison movie, and
transposes it to life in the Hollywood system. Its lead character, Fred
Redding, is played by Alfonso Freedman, whose father played Red in ‘The
Shawshank Redemption’ (1994). A photograph of Alfonso himself is used on Morgan
Freeman’s parole forms to show Red’s younger self.
The
teen-fairytale-by-numbers (‘ugly duckling turns swan and so love blooms…’)
‘She’s All That’ (1999) gives Rachel Leigh Cook’s
character the name of Laney Boggs, as homage to her Winona Ryder features. In
‘Edward Scissorhands’ 
(1990), Ryder played Kim Boggs, while in
‘Reality Bites’ (1994) she was Laney Pierce.
The film, which starrs Sarah Michelle
Gellar’s current beau, Freddie Prinze Jnr. was filmed at the same teaching
establishment which doubles for Sunnydale High School. As well as featuring
Clea DuVall as a rich clown-faced bitch – an actress who guested in the first
series of ‘Buffy’ as the invisible girl (who you did actually see in flash-back
scenes) – the film also includes the world’s briefest cafeteria cameo, courtesy
of a pizza-discarding Buffy Summers.
(All of which combines to create the
cheerfully disconcerting impression that ‘She’s All That’ could easily have had
a vampiric twist, had its lead characters only visited the library
occasionally. Stephen King is noted for this kind of character cameos – the
destruction of ‘The Shining’s Overlook Hotel is mentioned in ‘Misery’, for
example, while ‘Stand By Me’s Terry DuChamp is revealed in ‘Carrie’ to have
become a petrol-pump attendant… All of which serves to reinforce the reality of
such people and places…)
To show Torrance gradually slipping into
dementia in ‘The Shining’ (1980) Stanley Kubrick had each page of the
character’s book contain hundreds of individually typed sentences, “All work
and no play makes Jack a dull boy”. For the Italian version of the film,
Kubrick used the proverb “Il mattino ha l' oro in bocca”, which translates as
“He who wakes up early meets a golden day”, while for the German version, it
was “Was Du heute kannst besorgen, das verschiebe nicht auf Morgen”, which
translates as “Don't postpone something that can be done today”. Again,
individually typed. For method madness amongst his crew…
Dame Judi Dench
and Tim Piggott-Smith have been entertaining themselves over the last few years
(decades) by hiding a black glove on each other's film or theatre sets. Having
discovered this, Kevin Spacey had the glove sent out to Newfoundland where they
were filming ‘The Shipping News’ (2001). And then bided his time. Until Judi
came to the scene where she pees on her dead brother's ashes (um…); her wily
co-star was hidden beneath the outhouse with the glove on a stick, waiting for
the Oscar-winning & highly respected 
actress to lift
her skirts before moving in. “I felt something tickling my bottom,” Judi told Premiere.
“Kevin says I jumped into the air screaming. It took me quite a long time to
recover and it will take even longer to plan the proper revenge.”
Paul Verhoeven, the man responsible for
seamy-steamy (?) ‘Showgirls’ (1995), was the first director to attend the
Golden Raspberry Awards to collect his RAZZIE statuettes. In 1995, at the 16th
Annual Award Ceremony, ‘Showgirls’ won
7 of the 11 categories in which the movie was nominated, including Most
Insulting Film, Worst Actress and Worst Original Song.
The ogre’s accent in ‘Shrek’ (2001) is
supposed to be Scottish. Originally, Mike Myers played it ‘straight’ (i.e. in
his normal speaking voice) but decided – at considerable cost ($4million!) to
the film-makers – this accent would better suit the character. He used to live
in Britain, and so has no real excuse.
Harry Shearer, Spinal Tap (1984)’s Derek
Smalls – he of the handlebar moustache & jazz odyssey – does several of the
voices on ‘The Simpsons’, including Monty Burns, Smithers, Ned Flanders, 
Otto the Bus Driver, Kent Brockman,
Lenny, Dr. Hibbert, McBain, Rev. Lovejoy and Principal Skinner. (He’s also done such ‘guest-stars’
as George Bush, Richard Nixon and, um, Derek Smalls, amongst others.)
The downpour Gene Kelly dances through in
‘Singin’ In The Rain’ (1952) was a combination of water and milk, which made
his suit shrink.
Tim Burton gets to play a crazy-haired
video director in ‘Singles’ (1992). Possibly utilising Stanislavskian
techniques to centre his character.
Just as the colour orange precurses
violence in ‘The Godfather’ trilogy, red in ‘The Sixth Sense’ (1999) points to
ghostly activity.
The man behind the voice of the evil
computer in Woody Allen’s ‘Sleeper’ (1973) is Douglas Rain, who played HAL in Stanley Kubrick’s ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ (1968).
Throughout the director’s commentary on
the DVD of ‘Sleepy Hollow’ (1999), Tim Burton is unable 
to restrain himself from gleefully
yelling ‘WIG!’ whenever Jeffrey Jones looms
onscreen. The actor, who I will always
cherish in the role of Ferris Bueller’s headmaster, has on a mastery of woollen
curls throughout the majority of the film, stream-roller flat at the top and
jowl-enhancingly bushy at the sides. ‘Oooh, letting the wig do the acting
there’ is one particularly excited comment from Burton.
I know some people watched ‘Zoe Duncan
Jack and Jane’, because they made at least two serieses. I just don’t know
anyone who’ll admit to it. Which means Michael Rosenbaum’s shaven-headed
transformation into Lex Luthor on ‘Smallville’ is only entertaining to me, and
me alone. So imagine my solitary joy when Azura Skye guested on the show. Newly
blond, but if I could spot Jack without hair, I can see through Jane’s cunning
dye-ploy. Though the hair excitement in itself wasn’t enough to assuage the
Creep Factor, mind, of having actors last seen playing twins now acting as a
crush and his obsessive adorer.
Dan Akroyd’s character in ‘Sneakers’
(1992) is usually referred to as ‘Mother’, although his name is actually Carl
Arbogast. This was the name of the detective who tracks the runaway Janet Leigh
to the Bates Motel in ‘Psycho’ (1960), and who gets killed by Norman’s
‘mother’.
Filming ‘Some Like It Hot’ (1959),
Marilyn Monroe required 47 takes to correctly say the line “It's me, Sugar” –
she could only manage “Sugar, it's me” or “It's Sugar, me”. After the 30th
take, the director Billy Wilder had the line written on a blackboard. Another scene,
which required Monroe to rummage through some drawers and say “Where's the
bourbon?” involved 40 takes of her asking “Where's the whiskey?”, “Where's the
bottle?”, or “Where's the bonbon?” Exasperated, Wilder pasted the correct line
in one of the drawers, only to find when filming resumed that Marilyn was
confused about which drawer she should open. So Wilder pasted the line in each.
And the scene was finished on the 59th take.
The Madame Tussauds model of Napoleon is
a double of Star Trek’s Q.
Cheryl Gates McFadden, who plays Beverly
Crusher on ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’, and is 
the only actor on that show to have a
weirder name than her character (Brent Spiner comes in a close second), has long
been a part of the entertainment world. Before she emerged as a full-time
actress, she went under her first name of Cheryl, and did the choreography on a
number of films, including ‘Labyrinth’ (1986).
Previewing footage from ‘Star Trek VI:
The Undiscovered Country’ (1991), William Shatner became astonishingly
distressed when he saw how wide his bottom looked in a scene where he walked
across a bridge, away from the camera. The version of this scene included in
the finished film shows an airbrushed slim-line posterior.
There are indeed 3 E.T. aliens – as
inter-galactic ambassadors – in the senate rotunda scene for ‘Star Wars: The
Phantom Menace’ (1999). They can be found in the lower left-corner of the
screen, in one of the bowl-shaped seats, just after Queen Amidala calls for the
vote of no confidence. (The ‘Pause’ button should prove invaluable in helping
you find them…) Another reward for eagle-eyed viewers is a ‘2001: A Space
Odyssey’ (1968) pod from the Discovery in Watto’s junkyard.
While we had fairly gross Chinese
caricatures, the German-dubbed version of the film gives a French accent to the
collaborating Trade Federation leaders.
One of the hospital scenes in ‘South
Park: Bigger Longer And Uncut’ (1999) shows the wall-chart itinerary for Dr. No – his duties include a
memo “Kill Bond”.
Robert DeNiro’s
mohican in ‘Taxi Driver’ (1976) is a wig. (You will have to imagine Tim Burton
doing the excitable commentary yourselves…) Dick Smith sprayed chopped-up hair
onto a plastic cap to make it look shaven. Damn good job he did too…
Larissa Oleynik and Joseph Gordon Levitt,
who play Bianca and Cameron in ‘10 Things I Hate About You’ also played
boyfriend & girlfriend (Tommy & Alissa) in ‘3rd Rock From The Sun’.
Michael Biehn gets himself bitten on the
hand in ‘Terminator’ (1984), as he does in two other James Cameron films –
‘Aliens’ (1986) and ‘The Abyss’ (1989). Cameron seems to find these links
irresistible – in an early draft script for ‘Aliens’, Bishop (the android)
claimed to have been manufactured by Cyberdene.
The hospital scenes for ‘Terminator 2’
(1991) – as well as several other interior shots – were filmed at the Caleview
(?can’t-read-my-own-writing) Terrace Medical Center. A site used by hundreds of
other TV & film crews; the once-used hospital building was closed due to
seismic damage (but is evidently only deemed unsafe for a 
permanent medical staff). The production crew for T2 dressed
the exterior (as well as the interior), adding wire fencing and signs of such
verisimilitude that the locals thought it was being transformed into an ACTUAL
asylum. And picketed the site accordingly. Despite the fact that the building
was notoriously used as a film-set, and that the sign read ‘Pescadero State
Hospital: Criminally Disordered Retention Facility’.
Incidentally… If your film features a
polymorphous creature capable of taking on the appearance of all it touches,
you can save on the special effects by casting people who have twins in key
roles. Handily, Linda Hamilton has an identical sister, Leslie, who played the
T-1000 Sarah shot in the steel-mill sequence. And Lewis the Pescadero security
guard played by Don Stanton, faces his sibling in the T-1000 guise; his twin
brother Dan gets to stab him in the eye having morphed out of the floor.
(Lewis, incidentally and rather dully, is the name of Dan Stanton’s character in
‘Gremlins 2’.)
It seems Hollywood has a standard command
for controlling potentially dangerous movie creatures… In ‘Toys’ (1992), the
General tries to stop the ‘rampaging sea creature’ by declaiming “Klaatu,
Barada, Nikto”; these were the command for the robot Gort in ‘The Day the Earth
Stood Still’ (1951).
The Whitehouse scenes in ‘Traffic’ (2000)
were shot on the ‘West Wing’ sets, which are almost exact replicas of the
presidential interiors (the TV show’s rooms are wider, to accommodate the crew
& rigging…).
In ‘Trainspotting’ (1996), Johnny Lee
Miller's character of Sick Boy is obsessed with James Bond trivia. Tidily, this
one-time Mr Jolie is actually the son of Bernard Lee, who played "M"
in the Bond series until 1979.
The 1969 (U.S.?) TV programme ‘Turn-On’
was cancelled ten minutes into the first show, February 5th, 1969.
The TV series ‘24’ (2001), which gives
viewers 24 one-hour segments of “real time” in the life of a fraught Kiefer
Sutherland & associated others actually only clocks up a maximum of 18
hours of screen-time. Each episode is up to 45 minutes long. That’s “events
occur in real time”, but with advert breaks. Diddled…
In one school-based episode of the
cartoon ‘Two Stupid Dogs’, the eponymous ‘heroes’ of the piece ended up crammed
into lockers in a junior-high, whose slim-ankled slack-wearing camp 
headmaster was called Principal
Schneider.
HAL, of ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ (1968)
sings ``Daisy'' as he is shut down, which was the first song ever played by a non-mechanical
computer.
Oh, and the rumour that the film missed
out on the ‘68 Best Make-Up Oscar because the judges thought
that REAL apes had been used is entirely ridiculous and unfounded. The judges
having, you know, eyes. And the brains to operate them. (Though the make-up
award actually went to ‘Planet of the Apes’.
Which I - snooty child of the ILM Generation - don’t think all that much of...)
Our nation’s
harrumphing over Hollywood’s bastardisation of the story of the Enigma
machine’s capture (ruddy Americans had nowt to do with it) was intended to be
slightly appeased by the inclusion of a footnote-type caption into ‘U-571’
(2000); at the film’s end, it is revealed that the machine was captured by the
Royal Navy. Of Britain. No Texans anywhere in sight.
Robert Englund, the fright-faced Freddy
Krueger from the ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’ series,
played Wexler in ‘Urban Legend’ (1998), a character who keeps a Krueger puppet
in his office. Which can be seen just before the axe is spotted. (What a clue…)
In ‘The Usual Suspects’ (1995), Kevin
Spacey puts a gun to the head of Gabriel Byrne, and is then asked the time by
him. Deja-vu? In ‘See No Evil, Hear No Evil’ (1989), Kevin .Spacey puts a gun
to the head of Richard Pryor, and is then asked the time by him.
In ‘Velvet Goldmine’
(1998), the massive blow-up poster of Jean Harlow behind Jerry Devine’s desk is
actually (supposedly) a drag-queen shot of Eddie Izzard.
The dresses worn by Sharon Stone in
‘Basic Instinct’ (1992) were designed to match, scene by scene, those worn by
Kim Novak in ‘Vertigo’ (1958).
The Presidential campaign slogan in ‘Wag
The Dog’ (1997) of ‘Don’t charge horses in midstream’ – found so tiresome by
his aides – was actually used by Franklin Roosevelt during World War II. With
some success. He got re-elected with it.
Michael Douglas (for it is he) gets to
savage the shoes of Kathleen Turner in not one but two of their movies. In ‘The
War Of The Roses’ (1989), his Oliver Rose character slices the heels from his
wife’s shoes, just as he had done in ‘Romancing The Stone’ (1984) as Jack
Colton, who got to mutilate Joan Wilder (Turner)’s footwear.
‘What’s New Pussycat’ (1965) was banned
in Norway. Offence was taken at the
scene where Peter Sellers tries to commit suicide by wrapping himself in a
burning Norwegian flag and setting off to his death in a boat. I think Norway
was more upset at the profanity to their flag than they were about Inspector
Clouseau emulating the noble burial of a Viking warrior.
The old lady in the
diner who says “I'll have what she's having” after Sally’s fake orgasm in ‘When
Harry Met Sally...’ (1989) is Estelle Reiner, the mother of the director, Rob
Reiner.
The makers of ‘Willow’ (1988) wanted
Elora Danan to have a full head of hair. (Not a problem for most actresses. But
then, most actresses have all their own teeth too…) The six month-old twins
(Kate & Ruth Greenfield) who played Elora were too young to have a thick
mane of curly locks. So wigs were provided. Wigs which were attached to the
heads with SYRUP, as it was thought that normal wig attachment would be too
cruel to the babies’ skin. Syrup though, that’s fine…
Attempting to universalise the story (while appeasing Dahl’s UK
fans), there are no direct references to the home country of Charlie Bucket or
Wonka’s Factory, in ‘Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory’ (1971). Clues
cannot be garnered from car license plates, TV spots, newspaper titles, or even
currency; characters such as Slugworth and the chocolate seller very carefully
avoid mentioning exact amounts of money.
Richard E. Grant did not actually drink
lighter fluid for ‘Withnail & I’ (1987). (He’s not that dedicated an actor
/ stupid.) In rehearsals, it had been water, but in the take they filmed it was
vinegar. (Bruce Robinson was after a more extreme reaction…)
Professor Marvel’s coat, in ‘The Wizard
of Oz’ (1939), purchased from a second-hand store (because it had the right
look of ‘grandeur gone to seed’), had actually been owned by L.Frank Baum.
(This story, although confirmed by his tailor and folks on the set, was
dismissed as a publicity stunt by cynical press, unwilling to believe in a
coincidence of such scale.)
Zooming along London’s waterways on his speedboat
in ‘The World Is Not Enough’, James Bond soaks two traffic-officer types as
they clamp a car. These two are the ‘stars’ of the BBC’s ‘The Clampers’. (THIS
is why we can never have an American James Bond.)
For her part in the
‘X-Men’ (2000) movie as Mystique, the blue semi-naked shape-shifter, Rebecca
Romijn-Thomas had to spend 9 hours in make-up. During filming, even 
when off the set, she could not drink any
alcohol, as it would seep through her pores and cause the scales to stick to
her skin. And those yellow contact lenses gave her 10% vision.
The director of the film, Bryan Singer, couldn’t help but give
himself a cameo appearance. Which he filmed. (V. cunning, this man.) In the
finished film, Singer’s face was digitally mapped onto a policeman (during the
station confrontation between Magneto and ‘the pigs’). Singer then found his
likeness being marketed as a tie-in policeman doll for the film...
Ray Park, the actor with the little-seen
face who plays Toad (he was the headless horseman in ‘Sleepy Hollow’ too),
retains his Darth Maul fighting skills in this film. In the scene where he knocks
Storm down the elevator shaft, he is seen spinning a bar over his head and
holding it in an attack position, in a manner most reminiscent of his
double-edged light-sabre prowess in ‘Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace’
(1999).
In 1983, Linda Hunt won
the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for 
her portrayal
of the male photographer Billy Kwan, in ‘The Year of Living Dangerously’
(1982) – and thus became the first person to be rewarded for trans-gendered
acting by the Academy.
The Beatles only lent their singing
voices to the 1968 cartoon film ‘Yellow Submarine’. Peter Batten, who was
providing a speaking voice for George, was arrested for desertion from the Army
during the final weeks of production. George’s remaining lines were done by
Paul Angelis, who was also the Chief Blue Meanie.
Visiting the set of ‘Young Guns’ (1988)
and happily enthusing about 
never having been in a film gunfight, Tom
Cruise was included in the film, fuzzed up with facial hair and dressed up as a
bad guy, in the pivotal role of a man who walks out of a door and is promptly
shot. Evidently jealous, Jon Bon Jovi pops up in the beginning of ‘Young Guns
II’ (1990), as a scruffy man who gets shot in the chest and blown backwards
after Doc and Chavez hoof it out of the pit jail.
Oh, and lastly, if you ever find yourself
in trouble with the censors on only one scene of a film, try agreeing to their
request, and then sending it back to them unedited. The chances are good that
they won’t notice the problem the second time around. This tactic has been
known to work for several directors, Hitchcock included. (They complained about
a nipple in the shower-scene for ‘Psycho’ (1960). He sent it back unedited.
They didn’t complain again.)
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Last revised: 09/03/02