Sharks

So there I was. Minding my own business. Not causing any intentional disrespect to any creature with my fanzine - apart from Shed 7 and their legions of peculiar adorers. And I’m sent a horribly vicious letter by a shark ( pictured enclosed, but it’s not the sort of thing I wish to print ) claiming his species to be under- represented in HermAphrodite. And that they needed to be represented. Maybe even over-represented. Otherwise I could expect to be re-structured. Schnarf.

Now I’m not usually one to capitulate to demands like this but then... I’m wary of sharks. And who knows, maybe they’ll bump up the readership somewhat if they’re included. Whatever, there now follows a selection of facts stolen happily by me from the first shark reference book I found. ‘Sharks For Kids’ by Patricia Corrigan. ( £4.99 from Northwood Press, Inc. PO Box 1360, Minocqua W1 54548. ) Just don’t you jellyfish get any ideas, okay ?

Not all of the many species of shark want to kill you.

The now extinct ‘giant shark’ weighed up to 50 000 pounds, was 55 feet long and usually had teeth that were between 6 and 8 inches in length.

You can get ‘bonnethead sharks’.

Scientists whom have studied sharks have noticed that the creatures are capable of ejecting undigestible foods - such as turtle shells - by using muscle-power to push their stomachs up towards their mouths.

Hammerhead sharks have 1 eye and 1 nostril on either side of their T-shaped head.

Some people whom have been attacked by sharks have actually been spat out. Humans are not sharks’ dish of choice.

Sharks are fish - with cartilage instead of bone.

Apparently, were it not for the eyes and tail, you would swear that the ‘cigar shark’ was just that - a swimming cigar.

Baby sharks are called ‘pups’.

The body of a whole reindeer was once found in the stomach of a shark caught off the coast of Greenland.

Scientists who study sharks are called ‘elasmobranchologists’.

Some sharks feed like vacuum cleaners, opening their mouths wide and then swimming through schools of squid or anchovies.

The ‘nervous shark’ is said to hide its eyes with its fins when it is caught.

Okay? Can I go now...?

Last revised: 14/08/01