This is NOT Stewart Lee:

It’s the late David Scarboro, Eastenders’ original Mark Fowler.

( Weird weird weird… )

Neither is he:

Leonardo DiCaprio

SHOW 2 REHEARSAL SCRIPT DRAFT FIVE 25/3/99

RICH What have you been up to this week, Stew.

STEW Well I’m back on TV, Rich…

RICH Are you? What show?

STEW This one, CUT HERE so of course I keep getting recognised in the street, the problem being I’m always recognised as other people. People think I’m the original Mark Fowler in Eastenders.

RICH And the current Mark Fowler in East Enders. And Tucker Jenkins from Grange Hill.

DOES FACE HAND THING

Tucker Jenkins. Mark Fowler.

STEW I’ve actually been mistaken for the bloke from the Fine Young Cannibals, who is of a different race to me. Last year, during the same week, I was mistaken for Edwyn Collins, who is about 16 stone, and the bloke from EBTG, who has a wasting disease, so I can’t logically look like them both.

RICH You’re lucky. I get mistaken for the woman from EBTG.

STEW Only when you’re standing next to me.

RICH No, no, quite a lot on my own as well, but then I do spend a lot of time hanging around near where she lives, dressed up as her, trying to get into her house

STEW I saw that on the news. Was that you. I thought it was Alison Moyet

RICH Ha.

STEW And last summer in Edinburgh I was beaten up by drunk Scottish blokes for being Mark Lamarr.

RICH It’s good that someone was.

Last revised: 31/03/03