Bert Is Evil – Proof In The Most Unlikely Places

For some years, the Fractal Cow web-site has included a section on why ‘Sesame Street’s Bert, Ernie’s irascible pigeon-loving muppet flat-mate, is Evil. Pictorial proof of this heinous allegation has long been available – a police mug-shot is available from Dino Ignacio’s site, as are photos of the worryingly-eyebrowed Bert consorting with the likes of Adolf Hitler, the Ku Klux Klan, and O.J. Simpson – and muppet-testimonies, coupled with products advertised on the web-page such as ‘Shoot Me Up Elmo’, only served to reinforce his corrupting power. Yet in the last week, photos taken by journalists attending anti-American rallies in Bangladesh have noticed seemingly damning proof that Bert is indeed as Evil as certain people have long suspected. For in a poster-collage of Osama bin Laden, Bert is clearly visible, buddying up to the terrorist figure-head.

(from the Dutch Press Agency ANP)

The above picture was taken at a rally in Bangladesh’s Dhaka, on the 5^th of October, and is believed to be the first appearance of the muppet/Osama posters. Printed by Reuters, the Associated Press, and the Dutch news service Algemeen Nederlands Persbureau, sharp-eyed viewers initially thought the shots were a hoax. Yet four days later, on the 9^th, Reuters photographer Rafiqur Rahman found the same posters were being wielded at a prayer demonstration for Osama bin Laden’s health. That the same image could result from different photographers covering different demonstrations on different days and taking pictures from different angles, seems to verify that the photographs had not been doctored. Indeed, graphics expert Dino Ignacio, the man behind the original Bert Is Evil composite shots, has confirmed that the gamma balance on the Bert posters is as it should be, and that “looking at the pictures, judging by the angle, perspective, shadows and the crumples, it seems easier to remove Bert than to place him”.

For many, however, this removed the most logical explanation for Bert’s presence. Because the thought that a grumpy yellow singing AMERICAN bottle-cap collector being deliberately included on a poster celebrating bin Laden is basically preposterous. Yet no news service wishes to be accused of such a serious matter, and insinuations of digital manipulation have been strongly denied. Reuters spokeswoman Felicia Cosby has stated that “It is our policy not to alter visual images that are either still or moving”, adding that, “This is a legitimate photograph.” Jack Stokes, spokesman for the Associated Press, also reiterated these statements. “We haven't changed the photo at all,” he said. “We have very strict editing guidelines.” Indeed, the photographers themselves seem just as puzzled. “The photographer [Bangladeshi Rahman] is as bemused as we are," Felicia Cosby has said. "He didn't know what that furry creature was.” Millions of others, however, are only too gleefully aware.

Having established that the pictures are real, and that the poster does indeed include Bert, the world is now wondering how in fact he got there. And whether Bert has indeed found a new hobby, and left Sesame Street to join bin Laden’s fight, leaving his old pal Ernie alone with just his rubber-duck for company.

For many inquiring minds, Dino Ignacio, the 27-year old host of the original Bert Is Evil site, was the most likely man behind the muppet’s new-found poster-boy fame. Yet Ignacio has not worked on the site since losing interest in 1998 – recent additions have only been made to mirror sites of his original, including the Bert & bin Laden picture.

(the original Bert Is Evil composite)

Ignacio was emailed the above composite in the week following the suicide bombings in America. Although he himself did not post the picture on his site - ‘out of respect for victims of the terror attack’ say Fox News – other sites, dedicated to the continued Bert Is Evil propaganda, did put the photo up. To Ignacio, the most logical explanation for Bert’s appearance was that the posters’ creators made up the collage from pictures pulled from the internet. This supposition has since been confirmed. The production manager of Bangladesh’s Azad Products, Mostafa Kamal, has told the Associated Press that the posters had indeed been created by a collage of internet images. "We did not give the pictures a second look or realise what they signified until you pointed it out to us,'' he said. After the initial print-run of 2,000 posters had been sold, Kamal promised that Bert would be removed from the second batch. Indeed, other rally photographs have shown posters without Bert in place over bin Laden’s shoulder – while some cynics have taken this as proof that Bert’s image was digitally placed on the posters, the majority have taken the different posters to be evidence that subsequent print-runs had had the offending muppet removed.

Ignacio himself is finding the whole business rather unnerving, and has closed his web-page down. "I am as shocked to see it as we all are," Ignacio told E-Online. "I haven't updated the site 'Bert Is Evil' since 1998 after it won the Webby awards...I am assuming someone in Bangladesh found the image on the Internet and found it amusing and decided to put it on a poster collage of bin Laden. I don't think it's a hoax. I think it’s a freaky example of reality imitating art." As is detailed above, this story of Bert’s passage from TV-stardom to internet-notoriety and now poster-fame has been confirmed by the posters’ manufacturer. Yet they were unaware of Bert’s presence and identity (making him the world’s greatest super-spy); Ignacio’s suggestion that Bert was included because the collage-maker thought it ‘amusing’ seems unlikely. I’m still undecided as to whether it’s funnier that Bert was deliberately included in the poster, or was an unwitting guest. Not everyone is amused, however. The posters’ manufacturers should be kicking themselves. And the makers of ‘Sesame Street’, already ‘unhappy’ at the Bert Is Evil fan-sites, are even less pleased at the errant muppet becoming a terrorist poster-boy. "Sesame Street has always stood for mutual respect and understanding," said Beatrice Chow, a spokeswoman. "We're outraged that our characters would be used in this unfortunate and distasteful manner. This is not at all humorous. The people responsible for this should be ashamed of themselves. We are exploring all legal options to stop this abuse and any similar abuses in the future." Fox News, who also inquired over Bert’s current whereabouts, were given a fairly pointed reply of "No comment." Naturally, the Children’s Television Workshop, out to protect their characters & copyright, do not see the funny side. But I think this is all hilarious. At an ANTI-American rally, for the picture of bin Laden to be accompanied by that of an AMERICAN children’s muppet-hero; for ANTI-Western protesters to be wielding photos of bin Laden were found on the internet (a Western invention), by putting his name into search-engines like Google and AltaVista (Western companies) and then printing them out (using Western technologies). Even if the posters themselves are not proof of Bert’s evil-mastermind right-hand-man status, they are testimony of the power of the internet and the spreading tendrils of Western civilisation. Much as anti-capitalism protesters arrive at demonstrations wearing name-brand watches and footwear, unable even with such ‘pure’ intent’ to escape the very thing they’re campaigning against, so too the Bangladeshi protesters find themselves caught in the same trap. Only here, it is a children’s television character serving to remind of their being part of one global community.

Last revised: 14/10/01