Beards
Because there comes a time in everyone’s
life when they think ‘Hmm. Beards. Eh?’
(Some people, of course, just think ‘Hmm.
Beards. Great new taxing opportunity. Eh?’ As Peter The Great did, from 1705, when those not following the compulsory
shaving laws – possibly because of the Russian chill being too much for a cold chin
to bare – were fined according to rank...)
The
Good:
The Divine Comedy’s Neil Hanon
(You can’t tell me that doesn’t suit
him…)
John Peel.
Wouldn’t look right without, really.
Edmund Blackadder.
Approaching sexy with. Nowhere near without.
Viggo Mortenson.
Somehow more trustworthy, with facial
hair…
Billy Connolly. Best with. Usually. Even
if a John Entwhistle comes attached.
(Not sure about the felt-tip-pen
colourant job, mind.)
The Faintly Astonishing
Tony Robinson’s Sheriff Of Nottingham
curls.
(You can’t quite see it from this angle,
but the beard sneers up towards the nose.)
In a class of his own.
The
Reasonably Indifferent:
Liam Neeson carries off both looks.
(Ernie, by contrast, probably wouldn’t.)
Queen Adreena’s Orson. Bringing beards
back into rock.
Tom Welling.
Hit (too hard & too often) with the
lovely-stick, no matter what he does to his hair…
The
Mildly Disconcerting:
Abe Lincoln. Yeep.
(With cheekbones set to turn Brett
Anderson green-eyed…)
The
Freakishly Wrong:
Star Trek’s William Riker. (Yurgh.)
Pete Hickey pete@mudhead.uottawa.ca
A man who wanted to see whether facial fuzz
keeps you warm,
and felt THIS was the best way to test
it.
So very wrong…
The Unidentified Yet Hugely Entertaining:
I love the way this is more scarf than owt else.
As though the beard is sneaking up on the chin.
This is also very much ‘beard? what beard?’
Why bother styling your hair if you’ll let your beard run
free?
Particularly if you look like this?
(This being why Colin Firth is best off with a bald chin…)
Exceptional forking there, sir.
You will note the way the good lady wife is here very
pointedly NOT laughing.
While he seems about to…
Rapunzel? Is that you?
You could trip up on that AND use it to lasso people.
(What a dashed impressive waterfall of hair…)
While this man will never go short of a skipping rope…
And I was impressed by Dave Gorman’s side-burns…
Why have one beard when you can have two?
This man has very much got things upside down. See?
(Nice parting, mind.)
Last revised: 07/01/02